Directed by John Asher, Tooken is a gut wrenching spoof from Liam Neeson’s Taken. The movie is billed ‘…a retired CIA agent uses his special skills to get his beloved dog back from Albanian mobsters.” The mobsters are lead by Brown Finger, play wonderfully by Margaret Cho.
It sure sounds ridiculous, and it is ridiculous as we follow Bryan Millers, played over the top by Lee Tergesen, as the counter version of Liam Neeson’s Bryan Mills. Some of the other cast held their own like Money Maker, played by Reno Wilson, is very funny, and Dirty Lady, played by Barbara Ann Moore, is pretty funny, too.
If you look at other reviews on the Internet, you will see Tooken doesn’t have much to offer, though some might like it. It is surely not for everyone or just for a selected few with offending nudity and crude humor. It is nothing but crazy and nonsensical comedy filled with immature situations. Yet, there is even a spoof on “Non-Stop,” which is kind of nice to see. That is about as good as it gets.
I am not a fan of spoof movies, so I am biased. But, if you are a fan, then you’ll probably laugh your socks off because it is completely stupid.
In the ring, Randy Orton is close to being WWE’s most lethal idol. Being a third generation wrestler gives him the DNA talent that makes him a legend in his own honorable way. “The Viper” is his ring name for the way he can strike like a snake from nowhere. By the token of his talent in the ring, one would think his acting hits the mark as well.
Directed by Roel Reiné, The Condemned 2 is not the ringer WWE fans would like to see. The movie is a sequel to the Steve Austin movie released in 2007. The movie was knocked out before the end of the first round. Surprisingly, WWE Studios never throws in the towel, and the studio keeps making modicum movies with their wrestlers.
With the visceral of taking on the bad guys, Orton plays bounty hunter Will Tanner. Tanner and his team are on a mercenary venture with the intention of capturing a leader, played by Wes Studi. He runs a tournament where challengers are forced to kill one another in televised games. Tanner’s operation hits a glitch right off the bat, and his team misses out on any potential cash they would have been rewarded for the capture of the leader. Identically, Will is in difficulty with the law because they are not happy with his day job as a bounty hunter.
Tanner turns into more than a wanted man once a newcomer to the games Raul, played by Steven Michael Quezada, recreates the televised games. Not only he makes Tanner primary target but it is not long before Will is kidnapped. He is hurled into fighting for his life and survival against his former team. A flash of big shots betting on Tanner’s chance of survival is set among a lively cast of warriors and places Tanner up against interesting fighting styles.
Reine seems to do a decent job of directing with the budget available. He can blow things up with cookie cutter choreography mapping out a so-so plot. The hodgepodge, dull soldiers take whimsical shots at Tanner through rifle scopes. They even put him through a desert with land mines. Still, nothing seems to work for the movie because so much potential is lost in the acting and budget constraints
Directed and written by Charles Burmeister, Mercury Plains stars Scott Eastwood as Mitch. He is in his twenties, unemployed, and lives in Jerkwater, Texas. Wedged in the back of a trailer with his mother and stepfather, he lacks ambition and bearing. One day he decides to go across the Mexican border with a similarly lowlife buddy and find some adventure. At the first sign of danger, his buddy ditches Mitch and leaves him in the throes of trouble. Mitch seems to handle the situation without reservations, and grabs the attention of The Captain, played by Nick Chinlund. He is the local paramilitary leader, who observes Mitch’s lack of direction but the ability to think fast on his feet. The Captain recruits him and gives him five thousand dollars if he joins his band of soldiers. The paramilitary group waylays drug gangs and places a nice dent in the drug industry.
The movie is a familiar story where The Captain has a drop-dead gorgeous girlfriend, played by Angela Sarafyan. She hooks up with Mitch, and they fall head over heels for each other. Meanwhile, the paramilitary team is made up of misfits. Most of them are in their late teens or early twenties while some younger boys in their tweens are also part of the military group. The soldiers raid drug gangs and other dangerous elements, but these moments barely make the movie exciting. Mitch now has a purpose in life, but it doesn’t last long. All is not as it seems. Finally, The Captain confronts Mitch about his interested in his girlfriend. Given these points, the rest of the story is predictable all the way to the end.
Eastwood, who is the son of Clint Eastwood, is good as Mitch, and he is captivating on the screen, but he needs to pick better movies.
Directed by Phil Hawkins and written by its star, Christopher Dane, the movie looks pretty good and is shot skillfully with clean camera work by David Meadows. Even the sets are decent and realistic as many of the scenes were filmed in the woods, and the locations come across convincingly. The cast did a fine job of acting, and that is about as far as the movie goes on a positive note.
The story is about four men who embark on a journey to fight the evil forces that threaten their land and loved ones. As fantasy and adventure collide, four battle-weary Crusaders take on a mission to track down an evil predator, foretold in an ancient prophecy, who has abducted all the men and children from a devastated village.
The obvious problem with Four Warriors is the low-budget production value because the movie is full of incomplete details or unbelievable make up and costumes. The characters are supposed to be battle-weary Crusaders, yet they look nothing like medieval fighters. The actors are clean cut and fit, and look like a bunch of models attending a photo shot. The weapons are not authentic, looking truly fake, and the armor is way too dirt free and polished for the time period and situation.
The battles are extreme, but without the magical finesse needed to keep viewers interested throughout the story. The scenes never peak with ultimate threats of danger. The choreography of the battles missed their marks clearly, and it was way too obvious. The movie had demons that were not at all scary and looked too much like humans. The movie is being touted as similar to Games of Thrones meet Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, but I don’t see the resemblance at all, and a good reason to avoid this film.
Directed by Daniel Lee, Dragon Blade is a fine example of the materialization of the growing motion picture market in China. The industry is so dominate in Asia that Western stars arrive on the scene in Chinese productions. Like Dragon Blade, the movies are cultural dramas on a grand-scaled of historical epics. Lee’s movie has done well as a moneymaker, gaining over $120 million in the China market. The storyline is unique and pleasurable with Jackie Chan, John Cusack, and Adrien Brody. Cusack and Brody appear out of place in the empire of men swinging swords and wearing sandals, whereas Chan does a fine job of martial arts and plays a familiar role.
The movie transports the story back to 48 B.C. where Huo An, played by Chan, is a well-intended and compassionate leader of the Silk Road Protection Squad. His squad comes across as a dedicated group. Huo protects and fights altruistically in order to hold harmony for the sanctioned Road.
Thereupon, Huo and his men are framed for gold smuggling and are banished to Wild Goose Gate. They are required to rebuild an entire city in two weeks or be put to death. Clearly an impossible task, something miraculous happens, and they connect up with a lost Roman army. Command by general Lucius, played by Cusack, is a scoundrel. He immediately picks a fight with Huo. After the brawl, they become fast friends with singing, parades, and drinking. Lucius confesses he is trying to avoid being captured by the Romans and has a sick boy, Publius, played by Joey Jozef. The boy is the lawful heir to the Roman throne, and his evil brother, Tiberious, played by Brody, is out to assassinate him. He recently just murdered their father, so we know he is serious. With that in mind, Lucius’ men and other local tribes along with Huo turn the city into a symbol of the peace. Something Huo has desired for most his life.
The visuals are not only majestic but also ambiguous. Seeing Chan in a sword fight with Cusack is conflicting. We are in Asia and here is a Westerner. It is intriguing but unreal for an epic. The $65 million budget availed gigantic spectacles where Lee effectively created a war-torn China during the Han Dynasty.
This is purely fictional with no regard for historical authenticity. True. The Romans and Asians shared commerce and the Silk Road, but nothing more. The many battle scenes are exceptional with the combination of Roman fighting techniques and traditional Chinese martial arts. The movie is invigorating while witnessing the development of a friendship between Huo and Lucius.
Overall, Dragon Blade is a movie worth seeing with Chan outshining his Western co-stars.
Watching the movie gives no indication of the story being a sequel because it is so different from the previous 12 Rounds movies. The story has different characters and more action. The other movies follow a man forced to complete a series of tasks within a specific timeframe. Lockdown refers the limited amount of bullets the main character holds in his gun in order to achieve his task in nailing the bad guys.
Directed by Stephen Reynolds, the story follows John Shaw, played by Dean Ambrose, who is a cop. Shaw just returned from an extensive leave after undergoing a gunshot wound and the death of his rookie partner. Fellow officer Tyler Burke, played by Roger Cross, brings tension to the story because he is a dirty cop connected in a drug dealing venture. Rookie cop Jenny Taylor, played by Sarah Smyth, discovers evidence against Burke and tells Shaw. He investigates and confronts Burke and his team’s connection to drug dealing.
Burke needs to get rid of Shaw because he knows about his dirty dealings with drugs. So, him and his team evacuate and lockdown the entire police building. They are intent to hunt down Shaw and kill him. Shaw only has his revolver with one clip and 12 rounds, hence the movie’s title. That is not all. Shaw has more on his hands than just Burke and his gang chasing him down. He is being set up by Burke, who is making an effort to frame him. Burke is telling Captain Matthews, played by Rebecca Marshall, Shaw is responsible for the homicides during the lockdown. Officer Taylor is also locked in the building and doesn’t know who to believe or trust.
This sequel is comparable to the original Die Hard where there are many shootouts and fist fights. The movie uses the same old action style, and it is worth watching if you are a huge fan of Dean Ambrose.
Directed by Scott Mann, Heist follows Lucas Vaughn, played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan, who works at the Swan Casino. The casino is owned by Mafia-Boss Francis ”Pope” Silva, played brilliantly by Robert De Niro. Luke’s young daughter is hospitalized, and is seriously ill in need of expensive treatment. The real problem lays in the fact that Luke did not keep up the Medical-Insurance payments. His daughter may not be cared for with the correct treatments if he doesn’t pay the medical costs. Luke asks his old friend and employer if he could help him out with a loan. The employer says “No Favors.”
Along comes fellow employee Cox, played by Dave Bautista, who plans to rob his employer and wants the knowledge Luke has to help pull off the heist. Cox knows Luke has worked there for many years and has the knowledge he needs. Helping Cox is the only way Luke can pay the medical costs, so he agrees to be a part of the heist to save his daughter’s life. He has his own ideas on how the heist should go, and the plan seems to work until security is alerted.
Gunfire ensues as they make a getaway in a bus with hostages. Now, they are pursued by the police. With Cox crazed and ready to kill a victim to getaway, Luke tries to keep things under control. The bus is being chased by both Pope’s bodyguards and the police. Pope is interested in getting the money back before the police make an arrest because the money belongs to the mob, which the casino laundered.
Luke strikes up a rapport with one of the police officers named Kris, played by MMA’s fame Gina Carano. She soon understands Luke is the link to freeing the passengers on the bus without harm.
The whole situation gets very intense before it comes to an end. The movie is well worth the watch because the story is really good, and the acting matches the spirit of the movie. I recommend you catch it on demand or rent it.
Directed by Nima Nourizadeh, American Ultra follows Mike Howell, played by Jesse Eisenberg. He is clerk at an all-night convenience store in rural West Virginia. He is laid back because he smokes his pot and spends a great deal of time writing a graphic novel about a superhero monkey. Phoebe, played by Kristen Stewart, is his anchor. She is sweet and loving as his girlfriend while she accepts his unconventional outlook on life. It’s all too perfect for Mike. Something is amiss, not quite right.
Mike is part of a failed experiment to form a force of super-soldiers. Victoria, played by Connie Britton, ran the experimental program and decided to shut it down after critical psychological side effects were exhibited by the super-soldiers. She let Mike live and gave him a new identity after erasing his mind, then adding new memories.
Victoria discovers that Mike is set for extermination by an associate, Adrian Yates, played by Topher Grace. Victoria turns up where Mike works, says a phrase code and reawakens his previous training. Mike catches Yates team trying to bomb his car. Mike becomes super-soldier once again. The movie takes off in an R rated fashion with action-packed combat and brutal over-kills.
The movie shows tenderness and some humor. It is not super funny, but laughing is part of watching the movie. A neat and surprising twist at the end wraps up the movie nicely. The movie is not your typical action story, but it is pleasurable to watch and is entertaining. If you are a Stewart or Eisenberg fan, then you will definitely like the movie.
Directed by Wych Kaosm, Zero Tolerance seems like an action feature billed as a thriller. An ex-CIA operative, played by Dustin Nguyen discovers his estranged daughter murdered in Bangkok. He hooks up with his former partner, played by Sahajak Boonthanakit, and together they delve into the city’s criminal world. They discover his daughter’s devious past and uncover her killer.
With names like Kane Kosugi, Dustin Nguyen, Gary Daniels and Scott Adkins, you easily suspect many hand-to-hand action scenes. Not so with Zero Tolerance because the movie graces only two full-length brawls. One brawl is a real karate fight, which is cool to watch as Nguyen and Adkins try to take each other down. If you go crazy over martial arts and hand-to-hand combat in movies, then you might be disappointed in the fight scenes.
The characters are strong in the movie with a weak storyline. Some plot points are left unclear and the pace is slow at times. Dustin and the other actors do a great job in playing the good guys against bad guys while dealing with amoral personalities. One aspect about the movie I did not like is the repugnant strain of chauvinism. It is not just in one scene but throughout the movie, and even the good guys were abusing the women. I was taken aback by the abuse because this is supposed to be an anti-trafficking movie.
I found out after viewing the movie that the scenes with Adkins and Kosugi were shot a couple of years after the unreleased movie was canned. I didn’t even notice, but still it doesn’t save the movie. It is decent enough if you are a diehard martial arts fan. You can rent it or catch it on cable.
Originally introduced as a miniseries for the SyFy Channel, Ascension is now available on DVD. The movie is set against stimulating and enormous elements on which the story plays more with the human approach to drama.
The story is looks great for a miniseries, offering a spacecraft built in the 60s. The attention to detail is extraordinary, and draws the viewers into the experience. The direction allows the actors to do stellar work with such notable talent as Tricia Helfer, Gil Bellows, Brian Van Holt, Andrea Roth, Brandon P. Bell, and Brad Carter. They all work together and keep the plot moving forward with memorable performances.
The CGI is well done with a few amateurish looks to scenes when viewing the exterior shots of the spacecraft. Keeping in mind that the SyFy Channel produced the movie, the special effects comparably are not that bad.
The storyline is what wins the movie for me. In 1963, in the gripes of the cold war, we guard against our future survival by launching a huge interstellar ship call the U.S.S. Ascension. With 600 or more people aboard to guarantee our survival, the ship is little over 50 years out on a 100 year mission. Threatening the crew is an unprecedented domestic murder.
The movie is promoted as “Mad Men in Space” and I agree it is the best way to describe it. The twists and turns in the story is a little too much like a soap opera, but it keeps you on your toes with the plot moving along nicely.
All in all, I was surprised how good Ascension actually is for a low grade cable show. I really recommend it. There is a lot of entertainment value for sure.
Directed by John Asher, Tooken is a gut wrenching spoof from Liam Neeson’s Taken. The movie is billed ‘…a retired CIA agent uses his special skills to get his beloved dog back from Albanian mobsters.” The mobsters are lead by Brown Finger, play wonderfully by Margaret Cho.
